The Matter of Marriage
Funny thing about marriage. Often times we get caught up in the euphoria or in lust and make long term decisions from that feeling. Most of us are painfully aware of the results. The rose colored glasses crack over time. What used to be precious is now a pet peeve. “She’s so organized” turns into “She’s a neat freak” or “He’s so laid back and easy going” turns into ” He’s lazy”.
Choosing a mate has just as much to do with our character as it does the other person. I have a friend who said to me ” I gave my all, everything that I am, to him and he still treated my horribly.” Problem is, it doesn’t matter what we do if you’re giving your all to the wrong person. There’s a saying in business that goes;”You don’t want to get to the top of the corporate ladder only to find out it was leaning against the wrong wall.” And so it is in relationships, careful who you invest yourself into. Give yourself time to find out more about a person after the intitial attraction has dimmed a little. The sizzle is nice but how’s the steak?
Too many families have suffered because we didn’t dig a little deeper. Love is in fact a choice. Once you have all the factors you can make a better choice. I too fell at the hands of “the grass is greener” syndrome.
I wrote a marriage covenant to illustrate the choice:
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Marriage is created for God’s purpose
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Marriage is for character development.
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Marriage is a microcosm of God’s love, commitment, grace, mercy and compassion.
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A great marriage focuses on God’s purpose not just individual needs.
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Marriage is doing what is Right because it is Right not because it Feels right
The Covenant Attitude: “I will never leave you or forsake you.”
I will not worship or be ruled by my feelings
I will operate from God’s will and not emotions
When I say I love you, it is not because I feel good about you because that could change.
I’m not saying I’m attracted to you because that could change.
I’m not saying I feel like we are friends because that could change
What I’m saying to you is; I am coveted to you. I will never leave you or forsake you
(Joshua 1:5)
Emotions are fickle, but the quality of our life/marriage will depend on the commitments we make. If you are divorced or in a struggling marriage make new and improved decisions and quality commitments. It has everything to do with character.
Wow! I have read all of your blogs and I am sincerely impressed. You hear a lot of people talk about a lot of things, and sometimes it may seem like they really know their stuff. But if you pay close enough attention, you can always tell when somebody is speaking from what they learned in books or from what they’ve experienced for themselves. I can feel the passion in your words so I know that what you are saying is coming from your heart and not just your head. You go, boy! Keep up the good work.
That was some good stuff Mr Reed The reason why I am saying this it’s because you are so right about everything when it comes to broken mariages
specally now days, people do not take theire time to get to know some one in a deeper level anymore specially when it comes to relationship, well I think you’re doing a great job and I am very proud of you. Keep up the good work. (You man of God)
Everytime i read your article, i will keep thinking for a long time.